I Had Forgotten About God’s Timing…

January 5, 2010

My God is sovereign, and gracious. But he’s also very very quick. This week has been an eye-opener for me. I had another post lined up instead of this, but I felt it in my heart to have you all heed this warning: You pray, and it WILL be answered. That’s nothing to fear, but rather something to make sure you are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared for the quickness that God moves with, in, towards, and through you.

Within hours of me launching this site and making it public last Tuesday, God began testing my commitment. My mind kept racing with thoughts of “are you living what you’re writing? Can you say that you are learning from what you are trying to teach others?” God heard my heart-cry of launching the site and learning the commission and responded so rapidly that I had to instantly check myself, my intentions, my readiness of spirit and mind. It’s funny how shocked we are when God answers prayers, as if He’s incapable of doing so.

Within days, my character was next to be tested. The very people who I knew would be difficult to lavish love upon came calling to me, needing an ear or a helping hand. Because loving someone requires so much emotion, I never imagined that setting my own emotions aside would be required of me to this degree.  So when I felt God telling me to forget about myself and how I feel about a particular circumstance, it was unexpected… and painful. I had to stretch my heart to allow space for people who I had chosen not to extend unconditional love towards. So much confusion came my way, and so much fleshy rebellion wanted to spring up. In that moment, I learned how selfish we have all been brought up to think: it’s all about looking out for number one.

It is embarrassing how often we fail at one of the two greatest commandments God has for us, to  love your neighbor as yourself. With the same care and affection I offer myself during times of hurt or discomfort, I must do the same for my brother or sister. With the same attention to detail I pay when finding my own spiritual counsel or nutrient, I must offer to someone seeking the same.

I never imagined it would be easy, but I never imagined the speed with which God would move. I guess my spoiled mind thought he’d move when I felt ready. I know that I know that I know that God moves on his time, and His ways are not my ways. But intrinsically, somewhere deep, I had forgotten this, and was blown over by the amount of confirmation and conviction that came my way.

With heaving heart, I have slowly come to expect the divine appointments and fellowship that a week ago were slim to none. Risking sounding cliché, I am really being violently pulled by God from my comfort zone. The proverbial zone had started to fester, really, from so much laziness and lack of movement in that area of my life. This sudden change comes at an appropriate time, at the beginning of a new decade. If you are going through a similar shift in your spiritual life, I encourage you to do so with an open and willing heart, and a spirit of readiness and servitude. No one said it would be a simple task. If it were, it wouldn’t be worth it.


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